It's ok to feel shitty...

It’s ok to feel shitty. 

And it’s ok to feel shitty, again. 

It doesn’t mean you failed or didn’t get it right last time. You’re not broken and you don’t need to be fixed. Healing is not linear and it doesn’t work on your timeframe. It is a life long process. When we are uncomfortable it’s our body telling us we need to listen, and the more we ignore it, the louder it gets until we’re in crisis mode. As we move through our own healing journey with awareness it does get easier. We begin to listen, hopefully, to the earlier signs of discomfort before things get downright painful or debilitating, and we’re able to take steps to move through it. 

I also believe we go through lots of rock bottoms or challenging times in our life and that this happens when we’re coming up against something that will ultimately lead to us leveling up. We tend to experience symptoms we have before. The goal is to move through it without judging ourselves, with kindness. Without all of the - -  “I thought I’d gotten through this depression, anxiety, fill in the blank… and moved past this in my life” - - thoughts. Sometimes things come up again as a way to heal the deeper pattern. Maybe there is a tether there to a past life or to ancestral trauma. We can shift our perspective and look at it as a way to heal the deep layers. New access to the bigger bits of the iceberg that lie under the water. We can see it as a gift. A chance for big shifts. 

And there is no right direction to go about this or one path. There is not one way to heal. I would avoid anyone who tells you differently. It’s good to have lots of tools to draw from. Gather your “first string” of healing tools that you can rely on, that you trust. And then build your rotating dugout of backups for when you need something different. There is no one magic bullet that’s gonna make everyone better. However, the key is consistency. Five minutes a day of cumulative practice is far better than two hours once a month. The things we do every day, the rituals that we create around our self care are what will lead to our biggest transformations. 

From wherever you are, begin again. 

ARTWORK: Andreas Heumann