DECONDITION
clearing the interference + SHEDDING ALL THAT IS NOT AUTHENTICALLY YOU
We have to take time to Decondition. If we’re walking around with narratives and beliefs that are low vibration then we need to release them so they don’t stand in the way of what we’re calling in. In the most simplified way of thinking about it, we want to release all that is not ours as well as the energetics that put us into contraction in any way and we want to lean into the high vibrations + gifts that create expansion in our selves and our lives.
We can begin by having awareness. Starting to see where we feel triggered or confronted, patterns that keep emerging in our lives. What are the stories we’re carrying. What are the ways we feel contracted. What do we wish to rewrite. Identifying obstacles and writing them down so you can bring it through and let it go. Unraveling it and processing through long form journaling - how are you feeling? Why? Respond. Why? Respond. Why? Keep going until you get to the bottom, to the root. What do you NOT want to write about? Where do you not want to go?
And then get it in your body. This is not just something we can do with our minds. There are tools absolutely for working with the mental default settings that do not serve us AND we are typically going to need to always get in there on a somatic level.
dropping in
The Meditation
This is a foundational meditation for getting into Alpha + Theta brain waves so we can more easily affect change in our outer reality.
To do just the Countdown Deepening Exercise:
Do the 3, 2, 1 countdown.
And then countdown from 100 to 1, or 50 to 1, or 10 to 1 whatever feels right for you.
Once at this deeper level of mind you can recite affirmations you want to program daily. A couple of great ones you can always do are: “Every day in every way, I’m getting better, better and better”. And, “negative thoughts and suggestions have no power over me at this level of the mind or any other level”.
Then simply count yourself out when ready 1 to 5.
fixing vs. allowing mind
A lot of times our mind wants to fix something so we can move on but in doing so we don’t allow for the feelings that came with the incident and therefore they get stuffed down. It’s the difference between “oh, he didn’t mean it”sv recognizing that he hurt you and made you feel unsafe so you can allow the illogical physical sensations to come out, accept or release and move on.
prompts
All of the prompts I offer throughout The Collective are meant to bring you closer to your authentic self. When you notice an obstacle, shadow, limiting belief, energy that’s not yours, a belief that was imposed on you; mark it down and bring it through one of these practices. Find what resonates with you. Pick one for awhile that you use and then alternate. Healing is not one sized fits all and I often change up what I need in the moment.
Currently I’m using the Decondition + Align meditation for deep old limiting beliefs and EFT for conscious patterning and default settings that keep popping up (like when I get stuck in a negative or fearful thought rut throughout the day). I use the prompts that follow the transits to dig deeper and find clarity. I also empty out every morning for 22 minutes just feeling into my body, yawning, softening, crying, letting go. You may have heard me say crying is self care and this is why. For me I need to cry most days. I feel deeply and if I don’t move the energy I get full fast.
This may be right for you or you may want something completely different. We can take different paths on our journey and we can take a right or left turn whenever we like. This is why I want to offer you options, not to overwhelm you but to create freedom and movement in your own practice. Just pick one to start and try it on!
REINFORCING IN YOUR LIFE
Think about how you can bring this into your day to day to support your repatterining. When you recognize that you may be taking something on through an Open Center, take a pause, check in and ask yourself. If so then see if the energy is something you want to play in. With, for example, an Open Solar Plexus you are vulnerable to absorbing the grief of those around you, but, you are also open to experiencing their joy. If it’s an energy you want to experiment or play in, allow yourself to do just that, play. Ride the wave. Be a filter. If it’s not something you want to be experiencing look for ways to cut that cord, even if it means stepping out of the aura because the emotions/experience is too intense. There are loads of tools in Boundaries for clearer energetic autonomy.
If you recognize a Shadow, take the opportunity to explore the gifts and/or the opposite expression and then choose to focus on that, to amplify it, to really receive the high vibrations. Rest in gratitude for the gifts. When you experience the low vibration (shadow story), redirect and choose thoughts associated with the next best feeling.
For example; if you have a shadow or Not Self energy around recognition, imposter syndrome, lack of confidence, etc.. The gift in this may be that you are discerning, that you check yourself, that you REALLY care otherwise you wouldn’t even think about it. Maybe your preferred experience is to stand in your confidence, to not play the victim, to feel recognized. And although you often feel a lack of support, or feeling valued in the way you want; when you really look you realize you are taking all of the negative to reinforce your story/shadow and ignoring the ways in which you do feel your preferred experience.
Spend some time deconditioning through the guided audio, meditation and/or EFT (as long as it takes - 40 days is great start for shifting deep grooves) while simultaneously choosing to shift your focus to all of the ways you do feel your preferred experience and amplifying those feelings, really feeling into them, breathing them into your being, marinating in them. And when you notice old thought patterns creeping in, redirect immediately.
Empty
SPEND TIME ALONE IN YOUR OWN AURA. Emptying out just by sitting alone for 20 minutes a day and allowing yourself to just be in order to release energy you’re taken on from other people.
Internal Rinsing Meditation (see below).
Get it Out Journaling. Write a letter you will never mail.
Check out the tools in Boundaries.
Stretch, breathe into the places where you are holding, exhale to unclinch.
Allies for your open centers
Take a corpse pose. Let yourself be. Let all that doesn’t serve you be drained into the Earth to compost. Soft gaze at the ceiling if you risk falling asleep.
Shaking, bouncing, rebounding.
Trauma Release Exercise. I did one session with a practitioner and am now able to get into it on my own, typically after I workout. I’ve seen people enter into it in Breathwork as well. Animals shake it off when they experience trauma and we tend to freeze it into our bodies so this is one way we can clear it out as well as release stress from the day.
Lion’s breath, Bumblebee Breath and Horse breath.
Walking alone, especially in nature.
Showering and imagining all the “stuff” going down the drain.
Earthing!
Cleaning/clearing space in your home.
Dance out a song, move your emotion, stomp it out
Physical exercise
Doing something creative with your hands on your own.
Take a bat or foam roller to your bed or a face towel to a hard surface (get the good FWAP!)
Do this release breath
Do some squats while you flick the energy off your fingers
Take a run around the block with intention
Scream in your car or amongst the trees, sing, make weird noises, big sighs
Listen to this frequency for clearing all negativity.
Take space to look up at the trees, to watch the ocean, to allow yourself to just BE.
Full immersion in salt water baths.
NAMING PRACTICE
Sit comfortably in an upright position. Either on the floor with legs crossed and a nice upright spine or in a chair with feet flat on the floor. Once you’ve read through this, close your eyes if that’s comfortable for you or cast your gaze down toward the floor. Breathe normally and begin to name your breath, as you inhale - think “inhale. As you exhale- think “exhale”; or “breathing in”, “breathing out”. Saying the words gently to yourself in the back of your mind. Maybe the first time (or few times you do this), you only focus on this. Set a timer for 5, 10, 20 minutes and just be with your breath. This is my favorite timer because you can set interval bells in case you get tangled up in thought to bring you back.
Then start to notice sensation; softly labeling it in the back of your mind. ‘Heaviness, sleepiness, tingling, aching, itching, heat. Noticing the sensations as they come up and giving them a name. A lot of times in meditation we work on taking labels off but this is a time when we’re using them to eventually facilitate bringing our shadows to our conscious mind. Maybe you notice your senses; ‘hearing, feeling, smelling…’
Then begin to name feelings (don’t overthink the naming, keep it simple) as they arise; 'anger, frustration, fear, sadness, irritation, envy, self criticism, doubt…’. As they come up continue to gently label them; sadness, sadness, sadness until they pass through or become something else. As you put a name to them also breathe into them and really feel them. Give 95% of your attention to feeling them and the other five to softly naming. Focusing on whatever is most prominent at any given moment.
When the sensation or feeling passes return to naming the breath until something else comes up.
Practice this daily and then start to bring this practice into your life using it as a tool for mindfulness and for noticing when your shadows or Not Self are present. If you’re scrolling through Instagram and you start to feel jealousy, name it. If you’re talking to your partner and you start to feel anger, name it. If you leave a friend knowing you just took on their grief, name it. When you feel judgmental, bored, needy, grasping, attached; name it. AND FEEL IT!!! Even if it means you excuse yourself to the bathroom to feel into it for several breaths until it starts to change. Feel where it lives in your body. Bring your breath there with softness, curiosity, ease; invitation to transform through your somatic experience of really being with how you feel.
Set a timer on your phone if you need to and every time it goes off check in and see what you’re experiencing. If you start to notice that you’re feeling triggered a lot by someones behavior. Note it. And dig a little deeper. What is it confronting in you? Why? What’s underneath that?
align
Daily A.M. Exercise
As you release old habits, patterns, limiting beliefs, emotions and Not Self energy that is keeping you stuck and holding you back… who will you be? How will you react? What might you accomplish with out this thing keeping you small?
Write out affirmations reflecting this; letting them flow each morning for 5-10 minutes. Focus on what you can believe, small stretches. You don’t need a fancy new journal (though you can get one if it feels good).
Here are some examples:
When I feel worthy…
My healthy boundaries result in…
When I feel safe in my body…
When I breathe into the space before I react I…
I am grateful for…
Loving myself creates more…
Today I focus on _____ to step into my most magnificent self.
When I connect to my higher self I…
When I embrace ease, I experience magic…
When I rewrite my story…
Write about the you who feels worthy, who forgives themself, who forgives others, who stands in their power, who has healthy boundaries, who takes up space, who is abundant who feels good, who feels free. The you that is limitless.
Riff off your affirmations. Get lost a bit in the world you imagine. Notice which ones you can get on board with. ‘When I feel abundant’ can land much differently than ‘I feel abundant’. ‘When I’ gives us a minute to catch up to the belief through being open to the possibility.